Have you ever wondered if Egg Yolk Dream of Ewan Bae? 
Probably not! Who even is Ewan Bae in the first place? Yet, as absurd as this question may seem, it holds considerable meaning.

Released on May 30th, Does Egg Yolk Dream of Ewan Bae?; 노른자는 애완 배의 꿈을 꾸는가? in its Korean version, is none other than Phenomenonlog (현상록)’s first album.
If you are into Science Fiction, you might have recognized the reference to Philip K. Dick’s novel Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?, but more than that, this cryptic title encapsulates perfectly the phenomenological problematic behind the album.
The duo’s name Phenomenonlog (현상록) is indeed a direct reference to Phenomenology, a philosophical movement associated with the 20th century, which draws from the works of Husserl, Heidegger, Merleau-Ponty, Sartre, and others. To put it — very — simply, one of the main ideas behind phenomenology is that reality is subjective, yet not relative. The world exists in the gaze of perceiving subjects. It’s always for a subject that there is a world.

Phenomenology thus delves into the subject of perception, a theme that the duo, comprising Producer 노현승 (Hyunseung Ro) & the Singer and Producer 녹음 (nokeum), wanted to explore with this album, as well as the underlying question of loss in the process of communication.

This theme deeply resonates with 노현승 (Hyunseung Ro) & 녹음 (nokeum)’s backgrounds. As they both completed a part of their studies in the United States, they have been immersed in very different cultures and languages. While this is an incredibly rich experience, being at the crossroads of culture can also be overwhelming and somewhat frustrating because, to some extent, we don’t quite fit anywhere, all too knowing but never really understood.

Translation being the most obvious occurrence of such a phenomenon, they deliberately chose to mistranslate the title. You might find an individual named Ewan Bae on Facebook or LinkedIn, but Ewan Bae is also the phonetic representation of “애완 배“, which can be translated as “Pet Pear“ in Korean. Therefore, depending on whether you can speak Korean or not, your approach and understanding of the title will be different.

With this alone, you can expect this album to be rich in meaning, but it isn’t lacking on the sonic side either.

Does Egg Yolk Dream of Ewan Bae? is labelled as an Alternative RnB/Indie project, but you can also notice inspiration from genres such as Jazz, Funk, Oldschool Pop and HipHop, Shoegaze, or even Techno music.

But more than influences, it’s probably thanks to Phenomenonlog (현상록)’s diversity of experiences that this album stands out.

녹음 (nokeum) already has a few musical projects to his credit, including the album How Many Seconds In Eternity?. He is also a Sound Engineering Undergraduate Major and is currently pursuing a Master’s in Media Arts.
While it’s a first for 노현승 (Hyunseung Ro), the latter has more of a background in visual arts.
He directed MVs for several artists and even made a visual for BIBI’s stage at COACHELLA 2024, yet, as he confided in an interview with THEFIVENEEDS MAGAZINE, he always had a love for music and a desire to compose.

Those diverse backgrounds shine throughout the album. Their innovative approach and experimental recording methods distinctly contribute to the broad scope of sounds. Does Egg Yolk Dream of Ewan Bae? is fundamentally vivid; there is this fascinating visual aspect to it, both Dream-like and Nightmarish.

This album is a total experience, a story of introspection and of a quest to the true self, a project that will undoubtedly leave its mark on you.

A brief disclaimer before we begin. This article is an attempt to shed light on some of the underlying messages behind the album; it is, however, just a possible interpretation and in no way a definitive truth. If anything, this project is so rich that I hope that this analysis will encourage you to develop your own interpretation. I would be delighted to read your thoughts on it!

I. At the crossroads of Childhood and Adulthood

It’s with the song Sneakerhead in collaboration with the rapper O’Domar that the album Does Egg Yolk Dream of Ewan Bae? starts, and right from the beginning, it’s almost as if you were taken to some alternative dimension.
Sneakerhead indeed opens on a slowed rewind sound, reminiscent of those retro Science Fiction movies’ time machines. A time machine that brings you back to the 80s and funky OldSchool Hip-Hop thanks to a catchy combination of snare, kick, and hi-hat interpolated by scratching samples.
In a way, the chorus could almost remind you of the jingle of an ’80s commercial or TV show, which is quite fitting as Sneakerhead can be seen as a teaser, a mise en abyme, of the themes that will be explored in this album.

You see, behind its chirpy and lighthearted vibe, lyrically, Sneakerhead is plagued by a gnawing, angsty feel.
녹음 (nokeum)’s verse, especially, is quite cryptic, and I believe there could be two main interpretations.    

The first one would be the depiction of a protagonist who is struck by nostalgia, haunted by missed dreams and self-limitations.
The first verse is probably the most enigmatic one, but let’s try to dissect it.   

아직까지도
Still to this day,

난 잊지 못해요

I can’t forget

Cause Everything goes by

Our wishes through the night

Old Sneakers never tried

Old Sneakers never tried

Old Sneakers never tried

The first two sentences could be described as the chorus of the song. These are the only recurring lyrics, also preceding O’Domar’s part and concluding Sneakerhead. Those words evoke nostalgia, but nostalgia towards what?   

Let’s move on to the next verses and see if they could enlighten us. There is something poetic about the next ones.
“Cause Everything goes by“ could refer to the idea that life goes on, things are unfailingly moving, and thus we have no other choice but to follow suit. In opposition to this, the night mentioned in the following verse is often associated with calmness; a time during which we can more easily let our thoughts wander.
Thus, an interpretation could be that, facing the relentless rhythm of life, we can only voice our wishes to the night and hope for the best.
The “Old Sneakers never tried“ could therefore be a metaphor for those old dreams we treasured but never got to fulfill, and this is what the protagonist might refer to when they say “Still to this day, I can’t forget“. They can’t mourn for those dreams.   

The three verses that follow could provide an explanation for why those dreams remained unfulfilled.

All the things we do

Just to seek through

Radiating criticism

Paralyzing polyrhythms way beyond my skits

This verse could refer to our fear of being judged by others and how this affects our behavior.
The last sentence could thus be seen as all those conflicting criticisms/judgements (i.e, the polyrhythms) that paralyse us before we even entertain the idea of doing anything. Because we fear criticism, we often fall into self-censorship.

Desperado!

Superstitions in our head,

Why is everything in the world so ahead?

The next verse follows a similar idea; however, there could be an interesting nuance here. We are afraid of people’s criticism, but would they even necessarily judge us?
Perhaps we are so conditioned to fear the opinions of others that we self-restrict ourselves in places where there is no need to. Maybe it’s all, or at least partly, “Superstitions in our head“.
We anticipate potential negative outcomes so much that it paralyzes us. Hence, why this pleading “Why is everything in the world so ahead?“.

지나친 이해도, 괜찮아

언제라도 봐오던 나의 모든걸

이해하는게 버거워질때도

Even excessive understanding, it’s okay.
Even when understanding everything I’ve always shown
Starts to feel too heavy

Thus, even if the protagonist could be aware that they tend to behave in this manner, this self-awareness itself could weigh them down.
The dreams remain unfulfilled because the protagonist is so overwhelmed that they nipped them in the bud before they could even bloom.
On a side note, in French we have another idiom for this, which is none other than “Tuer dans l’oeuf“ so literally “Killing within the egg“, and I think it’s quite fitting.

The second interpretation of 녹음 (nokeum)’s verse would be the depiction of a protagonist struggling to find their bearings in a society plagued by fast-changing trends and discordant meanings.
For this interpretation, we have to go back to the title of the track itself, to the concept of Sneakerhead, and I must admit I would have probably missed this approach if it were not for 녹음 (nokeum)’s guidance.

What is a Sneaker head?

This expression refers to people who collect rare or retro sneakers. There is often a materialist connotation associated with the term, similar to Hypebeast. 

One can wonder what makes the value of those sneakers?
Retro sneakers that were once iconic for the innovation they represented or the sports achievement they were associated with are now collected for the sake of collectibility. An era dictated by StockX rates.

This could be what 녹음 (nokeum) refers to with the verse “Old sneakers never tried“.
Young kids were once proud to wear them, but now they are being neatly preserved in boxes and have yet to be worn, alienated from their very purpose.

The verse about “Paralysing polyrhythms” could thus be a reference to those discordant purposes and meanings.
As algorithms are taking increasing space in our lives, trends come and go at a ridiculous speed, and in the process, more often than not, things lose their essence.

So in the end, it’s all a matter of perspective, about what value or meaning we attribute to them. Those “Superstitions in our head“. 

But therefore, those clashing meanings can be overwhelming, especially for someone aware of this multiplicity of meaning. If we return to the example of the Sneakerhead, for someone aware of the historical significance of a Nike model, it might be hurtful to see those shoes now stripped of this context.
It could thus be tempting to fall into nostalgia, to yearn for a time that is now over, “cause everything goes by” to quote 녹음 (nokeum), 

지나친 이해도, 괜찮아

언제라도 봐오던 나의 모든걸

이해하는게 버거워질때도

Even excessive understanding, it’s okay.
Even when understanding everything I’ve always shown
Starts to feel too heavy

That could be this very phenomenon that he hinted at with this verse. This “excessive understanding“, that “starts to feel to heavy“.

More broadly, how can you find yourself in a society that is ever so fleeting? When everything around you keeps on changing, drown in an unfathomable noise?

In either interpretation, the protagonist is at a loss. That’s when O’Domar enters.

He begins by explaining that he used to be a Sneakerhead, but has since grown out of it and now strives for more meaningful goals.

그땐 이게 꿈이였어 (I wish)

드로우 없이 질러 리셀 스니커즈 (ooh ooh!)

근데 또 크록스를 꺼내 신어

몇십짜리 신발보다 더 커진 내 ambitions (I wish)

Back then, it was all just a dream (I wish)
Sniping resale sneakers without a draw (ooh ooh!)
But now I just pull out my Crocs
Ambitions bigger than those shoes worth tens of thousands (I wish)

He continues by confiding that it took him time to realize that, and that it’s no one’s fault if he dedicated a part of his youth to more menial goals:

원했던 걸 서른이 다 돼서 깨달았어

I realized what I truly wanted just before hitting thirty

이젠 예전 같지 않지, working every early morning

It’s not the same anymore—working every early morning

till late night to define a well-lived life

uh, 닳아버린 젊음을 이제와 누굴 탓하겠어

I can’t blame anyone now for my worn-out youth

떼가 타도 삶이 타는 파도를 더는 피하지 않고

Even if it’s dirty, I no longer avoid life’s burning waves

kick in the door until all I heard was ‘encore’

He has matured and is now ready to face life, prepared for the hardships that may come his way.
But even if this took time, it’s fine, there’s nothing to feel guilty about, no « error », as he highlights in the next verse, it’s part of the process. 

비록 나 조차도 전혀 예상치 못한

이번 생에 시차는 있어도 없지 오차는

한 켤레의 나이키에서 자란 나이, 키는 에이커를

바라보며 꿈 꿔

Even I couldn’t have predicted this
Though there’s a time difference in this life, there’s no error
My age grew from a single pair of Nikes, and now I dream
Looking toward acres of future

He found his way and now he will strive to make his dreams come true:

그때도 가질 수 없을 것만 같았지 Jordan

이번 생에 시차는 있어도 없지 오차는

한 켤레의 나이키처럼 지금 가진 꿈도 펼쳐

질때까지 숨 쉬어

Life!

Back then, Jordans felt impossible to have
Now, even if there’s a time delay, there’s no mistake
Just like a pair of Nikes, I’ll unfold the dream I have now
Breathe till it breathes
Life!

That’s with this verse that he concludes his part. The mention of the pair of Nikes is probably a reference to their slogan “Just do it“, and an invitation to stop questioning everything and just let go.
In a way, O’Domar is just like a mentor. He used to be lost in a materialistic lifestyle, but he found his way. Now his only focus his the pursuit of his dream, “Breathe till it breathes“, setting an example for the protagonist. 

But while O’Domar’s part is inspiring, learning to go past interferences and finding your true self isn’t an easy process. He admitted it himself; it takes time as well as trial and error.
There is still a long way to go for our protagonists, and it’s this tedious journey that we are going to look at now.

If Sneakerhead was the mise en abyme, then 우리의 낮은 당신의 밤보다 (O D Y N) featured by the singer OoOo is the Exposition scene.

Adapted as O D Y N for international streaming platforms, 우리의 낮은 당신의 밤보다 in its Korean version can be translated as “Our Day is colder than Your Night“.
It’s a reference, or rather an inversion of a famous 1996 Korean song 우리의 밤은 당신의 낮보다 아름답다, Our Night is more beautiful than Your Day in English.녹음 (nokeum) gave me some precision about this, and explained that with this choice of title, what they wanted to highlight was the opposite.
They were interested in the “unspoken, often unnoticed sadness of youth — a kind of existential discomfort that makes even the hottest summer afternoons feel cold“ to quote him.

This idea is not only present in the title, but also in the concluding verse of the song:

밝은 햇살 도 우리의 맘
을 녹이지 못해
우리의 낮은 당신의 밤
보다 차갑기에

Even bright sunshine
Can’t melt our hearts
Because our day
Is colder than your night

As temperatures are supposed to cool down during the night, the idea that their day would be colder than the night emphasizes this need for warmth.

What is quite striking, though, is how they chose to perform this verse. On a blasting electric guitar morphing to hectic DnB, 녹음 (nokeum)’s singing feels like a shout, a liberating exhale.
Is it hope, sadness, anger, or a cry for help? The way you interpret it depends on how it resonates with you. But whatever the underlying emotions are, with this verse 녹음 (nokeum) is letting everything out.

Another point that would be interesting to mention is the choice of the title O D Y N rather than the literal translation for international streaming platforms.
This is a typical example of the question of loss in the translation process, as well as the cultural distance I mentioned in the introduction. If you don’t take the time to look at the original title on Korean streaming platforms and translate it, then you would probably miss this.
Similarly, while the reference to the 1996 song is evident to a Korean listener, I probably wouldn’t have noticed it if I hadn’t taken the initiative to look up the Korean title on Google.

The fact that they chose O D Y N, so literally: Our Day Your Night, accentuates the contrast between both. But who are they referring to by “Your“?
It might be a stretch, but the fact that this title is an inversion of the 1996 song somehow makes me believe that the use of “Your” could be a way to highlight a contrast between generations.

The existential discomfort associated with the experience of youth is likely universal and timeless; however, one could argue that being in one’s 20s in 1996 and now is not precisely the same experience.
Each era presents its own set of challenges, but numerous articles emphasize the disillusionment of today’s youth.
With the pressing questions of climate imbalance, geopolitical instabilities, the rise of fascism and conservatism, the youth is slowly losing its carefreeness.

But let’s get back to the lyrics.
In 우리의 낮은 당신의 밤보다 (O D Y N), we meet a protagonist who is at a crossroads between Childhood and Adulthood, overwhelmed with the process of becoming.
Possibly, 우리의 낮은 당신의 밤보다 (O D Y N) could be about the dilemma of choosing the path of passion or the certainty of a more “conventional“ future.

Let’s skip the introductory chorus for now and start by taking a look at the first verse.

난 눈을 감지 못했어

I couldn’t close my eyes

Oh eyes like fallen leaves

Afraid to be the one

To fade away

It appears that the protagonist is not only afraid of sleeping, but of blinking altogether; the comparison to fallen leaves is probably a hint that their eyes are dry from not being closed.
It seems that they are afraid to disappear if they even allow themselves the time of a blink. They have this existential angst to vanish. This angst could mirror a visceral will to live, but they don’t know how to express it.

This could be confirmed by the following verse:

And just for a while

Following illusions made of hazy steps alone

Yeah all the things you see in me

An illusion is a negatively connoted word, but in this verse, it seems that the protagonist is so lost that they resort to holding on to illusions, fumbling their way along.
And with the sentence “All the things you see in me“, those illusions are very likely to be the expectations that others are projecting on them.
Living through the expectations of others can feel safe at first; it’s easy, and we are less likely to disappoint, but it’s not because it feels safe that it is right, because ultimately, you lose yourself.
And maybe that’s why they are so anxious about fading away. They take refuge in external projections, but in doing so, they negate their true self.

I’m not exactly sure how to understand the chorus:

You’re better than flying

지금 이 시간 속에서

In this very moment

Your irreplaceable remark

Just like in the previous verse, there is this instantaneous dimension: “In this very moment“, but also through the use of the word “remark“, a remark is usually something trivial said during a conversation. And because it’s often trivial, the expression an “irreplaceable remark“ is quite dichotomic.
Similarly, flying is often associated with freedom and, later on, with the expression of the true self. 
Therefore, I have a hard time figuring out what this “You“ could be. Perhaps it could be interpreted as a form of escapism? Similarly to living through the projections of others? A short-term satisfaction?
Or maybe it is the opposite and it holds a more positive meaning, something along the lines of “learning how to let go and living in the present“.
Truth to be told, for a while I thought this chorus could be a reference to a situationship, with OoOo’s part being on repressed and untold feelings.

Situationship or not, I do stand by the point that OoOo’s part could be about repressed feelings, but then again, repressed feelings about following one’s passion.

끝내 잃어왔던 것들 이

보여 날 마주한 채 you’re gone

이제야 뒤로한 네가 보여

갇힌 내 맘을 떠올리면

뜨거워진 내 맘을 꺼내

되뇌이네

The things we’ve lost
Show up right as we face each other, you’re gone
Now I can finally see you walking away
When I think of my caged heart
Pulling out my burning heart
Repeating myself

The use of “you“ here is probably more a personification of the protagonist’s passion/dream, rather than a person. But there is also a rather paradoxical dimension throughout those lyrics. 

Starting from the first two lines, they face each other, but “you’re gone“, it’s here, but it isn’t. This could mean that whatever entity the protagonist is facing is now empty; it has lost its flame. And it is as they face it that they realise this emptiness, this loss.

Similarly, in the line “Now I can finally see you walking away“, ‘finally’ encapsulates a sense of relief, which rather mismatches with the idea of loss depicted in the rest of the lyrics. But maybe it’s because this loss is a voluntary choice in the first place, which seems to be confirmed by the last three lines.

A caged heart is a heart that can’t express itself fully, while in the second line, she explicitly says that she pulls out her burning heart; she rips it off.
It’s also worth noting that symbolically, a burning heart is often associated with passion.
Thus, if the heart indeed represents the protagonist’s dream/passion, then it appears that they are willingly trying to repress it, and that it’s not just a one-time occurrence, as hinted by the last line.

Why would they try to repress their dream/passion? Maybe out of fear? Maybe because once again, following a more conventional path seems safer. However, the fact that the protagonist has to repeat themselves can make you think that this self-censorship isn’t really working, or rather that even if they really try to censor this part of themselves, they paradoxically can’t seem to stop trying to pursue it either, as related in OoOo’s last verses:

We never shut down

어둠 속에서 널 찾아

Searching for you in the dark

We never shut down

끝없이 달려

Running endlessly

oh I’m down

Those verses are quite in contradiction with the one we just studied. It’s not about restraint anymore, but about a restless chase. And maybe that’s why the verse “The things we’ve lost / Show up right as we face each / other, you’re gone“, is so ambivalent.
For the longest time, the protagonist tried to cage their passion, but it’s ultimately part of them, and when they do accept that, it’s too late; the flame has already dimmed.
Sometimes the answer is right in front of our eyes, but we refuse to see it until we realise our mistake.

Youth is a time associated with hope, with dreams, but the higher the hope, the more hurtful the fall. So maybe that could also explain this censorship.
In a society plagued with so much uncertainty, it’s safer to just refrain, to restrain yourself, and try to conform to external expectations.
But it also means denying a part of yourself, dimming your light, and living a life devoid of meaning.

So where do we go from here?

Facing all those conflicting thoughts, this overwhelming reality, the protagonist chooses to embark on a new journey — a journey to find their true self.

II. Searching into the Night

There is a drastic change in vibe with mirrors mirrim srorrim, the third song of the album.
mirrors mirrim srorrim starts with 녹음 (nokeum)’s bare singing; it’s reverential, like a chant.
This atmosphere is heightened by the rich variation of synth that follows, progressively accompanied by weighty — almost languid — drums.

The start of this new journey is ceremonial and quite dark, and as a matter of fact, the protagonist is entering the night, the errancy. 
As explained in the introduction, Phenomenolog is a direct reference to Phenomenology, especially to Husserl and Heidegger. And it turns out that one of the most important concepts in Heidegger’s work is none other than the state of “beyng“, which is inextricably linked to the concept of “errancy“.

For the sake of this article, I will attempt to explain this concept; however, bear in mind that even Philosophy majors encounter difficulties interpreting Heidegger’s texts, so I don’t have the pretension to claim that this interpretation is correct.
It’s more a representation of my understanding of some of Heidegger’s concepts — that I hope still holds some truth —and how those could provide hints to better understand some of the underlying messages of the album.

For Heidegger, there is a distinction between “being“ and “beyng“.
“Beings“ are individuals who remain without the truth of being. They “refuse themselves “. To put it simply, it means that they are not in tune with their true self.
They can’t reach out to the truth because they are somewhat disconnected from their inner self and unaware of this fact.
They are in a state of “un-ownedness“. A concrete consequence of such a state would be people experiencing a midlife crisis.

On the other hand, a “beyng“ is an individual in a state of “ownedness“.
It’s an individual who accessed the truth of being, their true self. There is, however, no definite answer as to what the “truth“ is.
The “truth“ is fundamentally subjective; it’s the result of pondering from the beyngs themselves, and ultimately, a self-determination. 

This process of pondering has a name, “Errancy“.

“So that this finding might occur, there must be the errancy which is kindled out of the burning hearts of the errant ones and which gleams precisely in the guise of the night.”

Heidegger – Ponderings VII-XI [33-34] – 37

As you can see, for Heidegger, the errancy is associated with the night. After all, for a new day to come, one must go through the night.

It was essential to explain all of this because, as you will see throughout the album, the night is indeed a recurring topic, and I have a feeling that it must be somewhat related.

This could give us some potential hints for the interpretation mirrors mirrim srorrim beginning.

even our dusks align

Just wanted to recall

empty lines of flauder

before you let the fall

blind creeks on AWAL

녹음 (nokeum) carries on with his tendency to start songs with enigmatic choruses. To some extent, it is pretty reminiscent of the moral in fables, and in 녹음 (nokeum)’s case, they often set the tone of the song. For instance, here it could confirm that the protagonist is about to embark on the errancy.
Dusk is indeed the time between night and day. Thus, in the case of this song, it could signal the beginning of the night, the errancy.

The question, though, is why “our“? Who is designated by that?

Just like in 우리의 낮은 당신의 밤보다 (O D Y N), I believe that “our“ is none other than the protagonist and their true self.
The way it is formulated can imply some surprise at the fact that “their dusks align“. And it is maybe to emphasize the disconnection of the protagonist with their inner self before the start of the errancy—a sense of unfamiliarity that is starting to unravel. 

The rest of this verse is no less cryptical. Starting from the word “flauder“, which, according to 녹음 (nokeum), is a made-up word with the words “fake“ and “laughter“. It could also be interpreted as a two-faced person. 
The line “empty lines of flauder“ could therefore highlight the idea that the lines are empty in essence. The relationship that you have with fake people holds no depth.
We could even argue that those relationships are not only meaningless but also toxic in the long term, and there is a similar idea in Heidegger’s Ponderings VII-XI [60-61] – 63.

“The hardest ”reality” […] is the reality of the fact that beings, remaining without the truth of being, propagate the semblance of beings and spread this semblance over everything like an impenetrable net.”

“Beings“, so individuals that are removed from the truth of being, a category in which two-faced/fake people could probably fall into, are preventing the others from finding their own truth, by raising their ignorance as the standard.
It’s very caricatural, but you could see that as the high school bully who bothers the creative kid for wanting to pursue a more unconventional path, or for just being “different“, whatever that means.

Being surrounded by those people is a poison, thus it could explain why the protagonist wants to recall them before delving into the errancy, here represented by “the fall“. It could be a way for them to motivate themselves before this tedious journey.

“blind creeks on AWAL“ is probably the verse that gave me the most difficulties in this song.
AWAL, is the acronym for Absent Without Authorized Leave and is derived from the military term AWOL – Absent Without Official Leave.
To be fair, I’m still unsure how to interpret it, but perhaps they chose AWAL as a way to signify that the protagonist is distancing themselves from society.
Undergoing errancy means seeing past social norms and defining your own standards. Thus, they don’t wait for an “Authorized Leave“; from now on, they will let the thoughts flow freely and follow their own path. But then again, it’s only a supposition.

The next verse could, however, confirm this idea of withdrawal into yourself:

and please beg for your all

because you got nothing up on your sleeve out for the run

Begging “for your all“ could hint at the idea of recovering a missing piece of yourself. It seems to align with the quest for the inner self. The “run“ could once again be a metaphor for errancy, or just life in general, implying that ultimately the protagonist can only rely on themselves.

This hypothesis could be confirmed by the next verse:

even our dusks align

reaching out, untie your mind

From the previous development, we can deduce that what the protagonist is reaching out to would be none other than their true self. But to access their true self, they must go through the errancy first. They must untie their mind, questioning every belief and certainty they once held.

In an attempt to find meaning in their life, it seems that the protagonist chose to submit themselves to the errancy.
However, while being aware of its necessity is already a significant step, actually going through it is another matter entirely. That is what we are starting to perceive in the second part of the song.
The second part, because this time again, there is a clear change in vibe.

As 녹음 (nokeum)’s verse comes to an end, the instrumental linguers for a few more seconds and then, at 1:32 minutes, the drums suddenly stop, there is a very brief moment of silence as a delicate piano emerges, accompanied by an almost haunting white noise but most importantly 녹음 (nokeum)’s pitched voice repeating the line “got too many mirrors on to my face“.    

The singing, initially calm and melancholic, progressively morphs into an incoherent juxtaposition of words.   

got to got to got to got to got to got to got to

not too many not too many not too many

many!

In my in my face face in my

face

In my in my face in my

face

It takes a frenetic turn, just like the instrumental, which, from 1:59, morphs into an intense section of DnB made of heavy drums and distorted electric guitar layers.
It’s almost stifling, conveying the protagonist’s distress, but also the fall into errancy; they are literally spiralling.

It is here that the title of the song takes on its full meaning. If you haven’t noticed yet, mirrors mirrim srorrim means to replicate the effect of two mirrors facing each other. Srorrim is the word mirrors in reverse, while mir is the “prefix“ for mirrors, and rim is the “suffix“ for srorrim.

There are, in my opinion, two main ways to interpret the line: “got too many mirrors on to my face“ that is hectically chanted in the second half of the song.
The first interpretation would be that errancy implies that you must face yourself, and that looking directly at your reflection can be intimidating.
The second interpretation could be that the mirrors represent your reflection in the eyes of others. How others perceive you. As we saw in the previous songs, the perception of others can have a direct influence on our behaviour and lead to a fear of being judged.

And maybe it’s actually a mix of both, because according to Merleau-Ponty in Phenomenology of Perception, “Each object…is the mirror of all the others“.
We are perceiving subjects that are also perceived, and it seems that our protagonist is overwhelmed by this experience.
It’s an even more overwhelming experience that sometimes what we see looking back at us in the mirror is ugly.

The transition between mirrors mirrim srorrim, and KKondae, the next song, is paradoxically both seamless and abrupt. If at the end of mirrors mirrim srorrim it felt like the protagonist was spiralling, in Kkondae it seems that they got back onto dry land. Are they safe, though? The menacing vibe of the song suggests otherwise.

There is an unsettling tension in Kkondae, heightened by a deep synth and heavy percussion. You can’t help but be alert, just like if something, or someone, were preying on you.

The lyrics are heightening this feeling.

Full of Surprises yeah you are,

어쩌면 불편한

쪽에 넌 서있어

You’re standing on

The side that might be uncomfortable

The dialogue with the self is apparently still ongoing, but here it feels almost… taunting?

It’s immersive; you can easily picture the protagonist facing themselves in the mirror, accompanied by a personification of their inner voice. The way 녹음 (nokeum) sings the first line seems to indicate that the inner voice is well aware that the protagonist might be unsettled by what they see in the mirror.

After all, facing your unfiltered truth can be an uncomfortable experience, but it is necessary to move forward into the errancy. The question is: why such a duality behind the tone of the inner voice? Why both this slight mocking edge and compassion?

The answer could be in the title of the song: Kkondae. Kkondae, or 꼰대 is an expression used in South Korea to describe a condescending person. It’s also worth noting that, despite being a Korean expression, in the Korean version of the album, they also used the title Kkondae instead of using Hangul (the Korean alphabet).

Starting from that, it seems that we can interpret the song through two different angles.

Firstly, Kkondae, as in: the protagonist suffers from the gaze of others

In the first interpretation, the protagonist is a prisoner of condescending people’s opinions; a prey.
As mentioned in the lyrics, it thus “might be uncomfortable“ to realise that we might have fallen into people-pleasing behaviors. That we betrayed ourselves to be accepted by those Kkondae.

This could explain the following verse:

I know it’s hard to escape

정말로 달콤한 이야기를 하고

Telling those sweet stories

시야를 흐리게 만들어

That blur your vision

yeah just gaslighting power

Even if we deep down know that we should stay true to ourselves, getting past peer pressure isn’t easy, especially since we don’t always realize the extent to which it affects us.
And therefore, we gaslight ourselves into thinking that this is normal, progressively disconnecting ourselves from our true selves.

And this is fundamentally violence, some sort of self-mutilation.

made you overlook the madness

romanticize sadness

necessity’s a violence

and I taught you how to do this

I know it’s hard to escape

With all I said

The fourth and sixth lines are where all the duality stands; this inner voice that taunted the protagonist earlier is also the one that led them into this pattern. This could explain the first three lines.
To protect them from the judging gaze of others, it gaslighted them into thinking that the sadness resulting from this alienation was normal, that this discomfort was a necessity.

To avoid the harsh stares of condescending people, we become our own bullies. It takes what it takes…

Kkondae are the other, but also ourselves, towards us.

The song thus ends in a dramatic tone, with pleadings to break this cycle with the repetition of distorted “I don’t wanna be“ and then the final verse:

어서 날 구해줘

따가운 시선들로부터

얼고 말았어

Please save me
From all these glaring eyes
I’ve frozen solid

We can wonder who is talking here; is it the protagonist or the inner voice?
I believe it would be the latest. If my interpretation is correct, the inner voice is ultimately an entity that strives to protect the protagonist, but while doing so, it sometimes falls into toxic patterns.
There is a duality about it because it directly reflects the complexity of navigating such an overwhelming world, as well as our conflicting thoughts and feelings.

The second interpretation would be that the protagonist is the Kkondae, the predator. Not only to themself but also to others.
The protagonist is “full of surprises“ because, as they begin this soul-searching work, they realise that there is an ugly truth about themself. They are not only victim of the judgmental stares of others, but also the possibility that they may find themself in the position of the cruel judge too. 

It’s “hard to escape“ from this because it’s often easier to make ourselves believe others are the problem rather than reassessing ourselves. Deep down, we know we can have condescending behaviour towards people, but gaslighting ourselves is easier. It doesn’t mean that we don’t feel guilty for engaging in such behaviour. Hence, the pleading at the end of the lyrics; they don’t want to indulge in that anymore.
More broadly, this interpretation would also resonate with the rest of the lyrics, and ultimately, it’s because both interpretations are compatible.

More often than not, condescending behaviors are triggered by our self-doubts, which in turn are frequently the result of others’ judging stares.
We become Kkondae because we were affected by other Kkondae and vice versa. It’s all a mirror effect, a vicious cycle that can only be broken by stopping to care about external judgment.   

Errancy is a taxing process. In the depths of the night, the discomforting thoughts are the loudest. The protagonist is escaping from the gaze of others, but in the process, they have no choice but to face their harshest judge, the eyes that stare right through them in the mirror, themself.

III. Going back to Nothingness

Following this intense character development, our protagonist needs a break, an interlude, which they will find in the song Whitespace_.
Despite being only 50 seconds long, Whitespace_ is an incredibly impactful instrumental.
Kkondae’s very last note bleeds onto Whitespace_. But while Kkondae was characterized by its stifling tension, in contrast, the first few seconds of Whitespace_ feel especially refined. It’s touching, with a melancholic edge.

Just like the drums in mirrors mirrim srorrim, here there is a languishing side to the guitar that seems to resonate with the tiredness of the protagonist.
Then, about six seconds in, drawing from shoegaze influences, a distorted guitar comes in.
Ten seconds later, the time for you to get accustomed to this change, there is suddenly a new rupture, and Whitespace_ takes a curious turn with surges of cryptical sounds.
I can’t pinpoint what those are, but it sounds very rich, with almost a holy side to it? It feels like those sounds are reversed and abruptly cut. It’s as if the instrumental was carved by silence.
Truly, Whitespace_ is fascinating, almost hypnotical. There is this liminal aspect to it; it feels like being in a time capsule.

What is even more interesting is how this whole vibe resonates with the title itself. When I first looked at the tracklist, I didn’t immediately understand why 노현승 (Hyunseung Ro) & 녹음 (nokeum) decided to add an underscore to the title of Whitespace_.
I looked it up and quickly realized that this was a reference to the programming language, which got confirmed by 녹음 (nokeum), who added that it was also a nod to his background as an engineering student. 

Here again, 노현승 (Hyunseung Ro) & 녹음 (nokeum) wanted to reflect on the question of perspective. As 녹음 (nokeum) explained:

“If you tried coding, a single whitespace type error can completely mess up your debug cycle. But in a normal day-to-day setting, we don’t consider spaces as crucial factors of grammatical success or whatnot.”

The reversed/cut sounds could be seen as a reference to those whitespace programming errors.
But those cryptical sounds make silence — the white spaces of the song — shine even more.
To build on what 녹음 (nokeum) explained, we tend to overlook spaces, silence, the void, or anything related to the notion of emptiness.
Yet, without silence, there would be no music; just like there would be no table, no objects, without empty spaces.
Everything has a beginning and an end. Beings are disclosed in relation to the nothing. Without nothing, there can’t be beings.

Given this reasoning, Whitespace_ could reflect the fact that the protagonist is becoming actively aware of their own self. They finally realized the extent to which others can influence them.

But also, if we go back to Heidegger, this void, nothingness, is a necessary step towards Errancia.
To quote him on Ponderings X:

“Beings […] constitute a heavy, long-since-closed door […]. This door must be taken off its hinges and forced open, so that nothingness might appear as the first genuine shadow of beying.”

As explained in mirrors mirrim srorrim, by raising their ignorance as the standard, “Beings“ are preventing others from finding their own truth.
For someone who wishes to reach their true self, it is therefore a necessity to subtract themself from the influence of others.
To find their true self, they essentially must start over, erase any influences, and return to a blank state, to nothingness.
Since through mirrors mirrim srorrim and Kkondae, the protagonist realised the influence of Beings, Whitespace_ could therefore also be an allegory for this process of going back to nothingness.
This hypothesis could be confirmed by Not Giving A Sheet, the next song.

Sonically, the song has a more assertive vibe, particularly in the instrumental section. There is almost a techno music edge to the song, which could resonate with the protagonist’s newfound determination of “not giving a sheet“.

you could give me something and it’s all nothing

여전히 가만있지 못하고

Still can’t sit still

안절부절 해 shee

Restless shee

my lesson’s in the bottle of water

whoo!

Harnessing the power of

Not Giving a Shhh

오 이제 신경이랄 것도 없앴으

Now there’s nothing left to care about

The introductory line, which is then again also the chorus (with a slight variation), seems to be aimed at other people this time. It could hint that whatever comes from external influences is meaningless, which seems to be confirmed by the last verse.
The protagonist is indeed learning how to overlook that. Learning, because, then again, it’s not an easy process, as implied in the first verse through mentions of restlessness, but also the need to learn from water.
While water may take the shape of its container, its nature remains unchanged.

너무 뻔한 거였지

It was too obvious

oh sanity always on the leave

harnessing the power of not giving a sheeeeeeet

Nothing left now

Nooo

Nothing left now,

There could be two interpretations for those last verses.

In keeping with our previous development, the first interpretation would be that the protagonist’s sanity is jeopardized by external influences. As a consequence, they strive not to care anymore, and thus, there is “nothing left now“ of those influences.

The other interpretation would be that it’s their sanity to which there is nothing left now…

On a side note, you could wonder why the title is Not Giving a Sheet, and not Not Giving a Sh*t. It could be out of politeness, or a word play, as in “we won’t waste paper for those people“.

IV. What it could be

In our Errancy journey, 과도기 (Apple Knife Machine) featured by 방찬우 (Chanwoo Bang) & 이긍휼 (igeunghyul) plays the part of a foreshadowing episode for some of the themes that the protagonist is about to face in the four songs that will follow.

Korean streaming platform users will encounter the song as 과도기, which could be translated as “Transitional Period”.
As you can see, it has little to do with the Foreign streaming platform title, and this choice is once more an illustration of the limitations of translation.
As 녹음 (nokeum) told me, 과도기 cannot be translated accurately in English. This word bears a somewhat negative and unstable connotation that is lost in translation.
Therefore, with 노현승 (Hyunseung Ro), they decided to give the piece a completely different name, one rich in imagery.
The title Apple Knife Machine comes from the idea of an apple being cut in half with a knife. As the apple is a close cousin of the pear, this barbaric act would trigger a midlife crisis/transitional period for the pear, resulting in the pear becoming a different being entirely.

There is probably a negative connotation to 과도기, because transitional periods usually involve knowing where we start, but not what the outcome will be. That’s why more often than not, change is scary. 

This idea permeates through the instrumental as well. There is a noticeable shift in vibe with 과도기 (Apple Knife Machine), which is quite puzzling. There is this deep rumble in the background, which heightens the idea that something is brewing, but we don’t exactly know what. The rhythm, especially, isn’t forthright; it’s slightly muffled, keeping you on edge.

Perhaps this can be explained by the fact that the rhythm isn’t made up of drums, but a piano. 과도기 (Apple Knife Machine) is an interesting music engineering experiment.
노현승 (Hyunseung Ro) & 녹음 (nokeum) made the entirety of 과도기 (Apple Knife Machine) with a piano.
For this purpose, they recorded with eight microphones placed on various parts of the instrument.
This experiment itself resonates with this idea of a change from the original state.
They rerouted the essence of the piano by using it not only for its keys but also as a percussion instrument.
They experimented, and in this case, the outcome was conclusive.

It’s not the case with all transitional periods, though.

The reason I believe 과도기 (Apple Knife Machine) isn’t a step in the protagonist’s journey but rather foreshadowing is that, besides the instrumentals, it is the only song on the album in which 녹음 (nokeum) isn’t performing (it can very much be a mere coincidence, though).
과도기 (Apple Knife Machine) is exclusively performed by the singer 방찬우 (Chanwoo Bang) & the rapper 이긍휼 (igeunghyul), and the stories that they recount illustrate perfectly what is at stake with transitional periods.

The song starts on 방찬우 (Chanwoo Bang)’s part. The use of the pet name “baby“ seems to indicate that the lyrics are not a dialogue with the self this time, but rather about a relationship. A shifting relationship, to be more exact.

It’s in the air

What is it

Got outta bed

What did I do to be bad

Why don’t you tell me

Why aren’t you telling me, baby

Or are we just dreaming now, baby

Mirroring the instrumental, everything in the lyrics conveys the idea that something is brewing, but in this story, the protagonist seems to be at a loss. It doesn’t help that they apparently have communication issues. 

The last line is quite singular. What does 방찬우 (Chanwoo Bang) mean by “are we just dreaming“? Could it mean that the relationship is doomed already? That, just like the protagonist in 우리의 낮은 당신의 밤보다 (O D Y N), they are currently in denial, following an illusion, because it’s more comfortable to stay in the safety of a dimming relationship than to face the outcome of a breakup?

The second verse hints at that idea.

Is this how it’s gonna be

I’m trying hard to stay

Ain’t gonna be afraid

Yeah, how’s it gonna end

Sometimes in relationships, people grow apart. As a result, they may no longer be compatible, and it’s not an easy thing to acknowledge. Here, it feels like the character is hung on what they used to be, and is afraid of what they can become.

Similarly, yet totally differently, 이긍휼 (igeunghyul)’s part is deeply rooted in nostalgia and regrets
In this story, it feels like the character was afraid of this potential “transition period“, and therefore withdrew themself. You can already notice regrets in the first verse:

시간이 나보다 게을러 아쉽던 때로

못 돌아가 이제는 하루가 애석해져

마시던 술은 내일의 도수에 비하면

가볍게도 넘겼네 건배로

When time felt lazier than me
Can’t go back—I now regret each day
Alcohol I once drank lightly
Feels weak compared to tomorrow’s proof

With the very first line, it seems that at some point the character was in a comfortable position during which they still had time to spare. But they overstepped that and missed their chance, and all that is left now are regrets. Alcohol, which they once drank casually, became a necessity, a necessity that is not even enough to numb the overthinking.

This idea is supported by the second verse:

오늘의 안정을 돈으로 결제해 날

빛내고파 하던게 단데 연체된

관계들이 날 재촉해

기억되길 바라며 도망친 내가 속 된걸

Buying today’s peace with money
I used to want to shine, now it’s cigarettes and late payments
Entangled relationships push me
I ran away hoping to be remembered, and that’s my shame

There is a sense of immediacy in the first line; the character is just living day by day, trying to tune off their thoughts with immediate pleasure.
They used to harbour dreams, but in keeping with the first verse, it appears they didn’t act on them. Just like with the relationship that could have been.
While the character in 방찬우 (Chanwoo Bang)’s story seems to cling to a doomed relationship, here the character didn’t try enough. This could explain the last two lines. Maybe they were afraid of commitment, and therefore, they fled in the hope of being chased.

우리가 함께 인 몇 계절

속에서 평생을 혼자인 채로 잘 지내

나에게만 저장이 된 사진

위의 먼지가 널 가려 잘 안 닦이네

The seasons we shared
I now live forever alone in them
Photos stored only on my phone
Dust hides you now, won’t wipe off

All that remains now are memories, dusty pictures, and hope. Hope to cross paths again.

너와 내가 몇 해가 지나 바뀐 대도

다시 예전 같은 인사를

할 수 있을까 이젠

모르겠어 너의 반응을

Even if time changes us

Can we still greet each other like before?

I don’t know how you’ll react anymore

The tragic part, though, is that if they did, it would be as strangers.
There is something really bittersweet about the fact that someone who once held such a special place in your life is now fading into a stranger. That’s why the character is asking permission in the first place here. They used to know how to act around them, but now they can’t predict anymore.

The song ends on a verse from 방찬우 (Chanwoo Bang), which, in a way, could be relevant for both stories.

Yeah baby, it’s time we flow and find consent

Chasing dreams with flowers out of scent

Crazy, tryna feel the same

Could it ever be part of me? I’m spent

In both situations, it’s time to let go of whatever is going on and move forward.
The expression “find consent” could be interpreted as the idea to stop turning a blind eye to their real feelings, to respect themselves, and others.
But for both situations, they can’t be sure of the outcome, as signaled by the last line. Will they manage to reach their dreams, especially as they are already so worn out?

Through 방찬우 (Chanwoo Bang) & 이긍휼 (igeunghyul)’s gazes, 과도기 (Apple Knife Machine) explores themes such as the regrets of not acting and conversely not knowing when to let go; but also the fear of the future and, inversely to be eaten up by nostalgia.
As explained at the beginning of this part, those are foreshadowings of some of the psychological challenges that the protagonist will face in the following four songs.

It’s good that the protagonist launched themselves into Errancy, but then again, they can’t predict the outcome, and ultimately, there are hints in Heidegger’s works that it’s also a never-ending process.
A never-ending process because while Errancy is an inner work, ultimately, we are social beings. We evolve in a world, in interactions with other beings, and therefore, there are many factors that we can’t control.

Thus, we go back to Heidegger’s quote phenomenonlog shared in the description of the album:

“How one encounters reality is a choice”

V. To Fall or to Fly

Our protagonist launched themself into Errancy and learned to filter out external influences.
It’s promising, because as we saw in Part III, going back to Nothingness is a necessary step to reach their true self, to become a Beying. The question now is, where do we go from here?

And this question, well, it’s the one that is going to haunt the protagonist in the next four songs, starting from 항아리게임 (Getting Over IT) featured by the singer Sad Nudes.

It might come as a surprise, but the title 항아리게임 (Getting Over IT) is none other than a reference to a viral video game by Bennet Foddy. Getting Over It for the English market, and 항아리게임, literally “a Game of Jar“ in Korea. Phenomenonlog kept the same name and translations for the Korean and International streaming platforms.
In Getting Over It, you play a character in a cauldron named Diogenes, a reference to Diogenes the Cynic, a Greek philosopher.
The goal is simple: climbing a steep mountain, but obviously, there is a trick, and it’s that there is no checkpoint. If the character falls, the player has to start over from the point Diogenes landed.
The whole climb is commented on by Bennett Foddy himself, who shares philosophical observations as the player progresses.
Ultimately, the game’s main takeaway is that when facing adversity, we must stop complaining, accept the situation, and keep going.

This is basically what the song itself is about.

Compared to the previous songs, the piano feels slightly more assertive, along with a light mix of guitar and drums.
It’s soothing, reminiscent of the warmth of a sunny Spring morning.
This, combined with the first lyrics sung by Sad Nudes, suggests that the protagonist has woken up.

처음듣는 목소ㄹ

처음듣는 목소리가 날 잠 속에서 깨우네

A voice I never heard
Wakes me from sleep

As explained in Part II, Heidegger associates Errancy with the night. If we perpetuate our analogy, does that mean that the Errancy is over?
Well, as we will see in the next lyrics and songs, no Errancy isn’t over; it’s not really that simple.
Here, the protagonist waking up would rather indicate that the protagonist reached a new step into Errancy, into this introspective work.
They have now become fully aware of their inner voice; the connection is finally established.

I can’t state it, but it’s very likely that the “voice they never heard“ is indeed their inner voice, or alternatively, another depth of their inner voice. They had never heard it before because there was simply too much external noise.
Thanks to their introspective work, to the fall into Errancy, they feel lighter now — and the instrumental is a direct reflection of that — and thus, now they can finally hear it.

There seem to be hints supporting this supposition in the following verse:

기다리는거 다 잊고 눈 앞에는 open lane

Forgetting all the waiting
An open lane ahead

이 상황은 뭐지? 정말 헷갈린다 했는데

What is this situation? It’s so confusing

You just seem to—I can’t seem to—talk

Too much!

As you can see in the third line, while in the previous songs, the reference to the inner voice was always with the pronoun “you”, here, there is an overlap between the “you” and the “I”. For the first time, they are a unified entity. 

Nevertheless, it’s not because they are now a unified entity that the whole situation is any less confusing; now, it’s a whole new world that the protagonist is facing. A world with endless possibilities, and it’s overwhelming.

SUN FRIES!

I shoot for the top I should never stop

we gon be here all night

헤메 또 헤메 똑 같은 절벽 위에서

Lost again on the same cliff

미 끄 러 져

미 끄 러 져

Slip and fall
Slip and fall

처음부터 시작 해야되지

Gotta start all over again

티키 움 티키 움

Tiki-oom tiki-oom

The first line could also serve as an analogy for this. If possibilities are the light, the sun, then there are so many possibilities that it’s literally blinding; frying. It’s also a nice nod to the album title, as well as the physical copy, which features a drawing of a sunny-side-up egg, along with its recipe. 

Despite that, the protagonist is nonetheless trying to navigate toward their dream, aiming for the top, just like Diogenes in Getting Over It, or Sisyphus.
And just like them, they inescapably slip and fall, tirelessly starting all over again and again.   

It’s therefore essential that, in keeping with the teaching behind the Getting Over It game, we learn how to accept this situation and keep up regardless.

The price that you pay forgetting due dates in MAY

and all I can say we’re gonna be

A—okay

떨어지고 부닥쳐도

Even if we fall and crash

Yeah, we won’t ever stop

It’s exactly this spirit that 녹음 (nokeum) conveys in his part.
There is also an interesting nuance in this verse. It can easily be overlooked, but if you look closely at the lyrics, you can notice that he is about to sing “and all I can say we’re gonna be Alright“, but as he starts singing it (around 0:55min), it abruptly changes to “okay“.
Being “okay“ is not as strong as being “alright“, but it’s fine. There is a societal expectation always to smile and maintain a happy mood, but it’s okay to experience ups and downs and progress in life at your own pace.

This exhortation to let things go is also present in the next song, Arurian Nights, featured by the singers Moreen and A.JACEY.

유영하게 두지 너를 그대로

기나긴 찰나 속에 스쳐간 것도

멋대로 움직여

멋대로 움직여!

Let you drift just the way you are
What brushed past in that long moment
Moves however it wants
Moves however it wants

The first verses are performed by 녹음 (nokeum), and right from the start, there is again this idea to go with the flow and follow our true nature. The rest can’t be controlled anyway.

yeah the time to fly

out of my

hidden site of thunder

oh heart of my

deeper light

breathing through the fire

of Arurian nights,

just you and I

It appears that the protagonist assimilated this lesson and is now ready to let their true self shine.
The first three lines could also be a reference to the album’s introductory words, and more especially to this part:

Like an unborn yolk, glimpsing the world

and choosing whether to be born—

It resonates because just like in this sentence, the notion of willpower is fundamental in 녹음 (nokeum)’s verses.
As counterintuitive as it may sound, no, “Letting yourself drift just the way you are“ isn’t an easy feat.
If it were the case, the protagonist wouldn’t have to go through this self-discovery journey in the first place.

Here, the “hidden site of thunder“ can be interpreted as the tumult that was affecting the protagonist, encompassing all the external influences and inner turmoil described at the beginning of the album.
It’s something that is concealed deep within the self, and to be able to “fly out of it“, one must first and foremost be aware of its existence.
But staying in this “hidden site of thunder“, in the shell, is comfortable. Because just like in 과도기 (Apple Knife Machine), we don’t know what to expect once we leave it.

Staying in the shell, though, while safe, is suffocating. It means negating your true self, your calling, just like the character depicted by OoOo in 우리의 낮은 당신의 밤보다 (O D Y N).

갇힌 내 맘을 떠올리면

뜨거워진 내 맘을 꺼내

되뇌이네

When I think of my caged heart
Pulling out my burning heart
Repeating myself

The only way for the protagonist to free this “caged heart“ is to go through the Arurian nights, the Errancy. I’m not sure if it was on purpose, but the last line of 녹음 (nokeum)’s verse (oh heart of my / deeper light / breathing through the fire / of Arurian nights), isn’t dissimilar to Heidegger’s quote we paid attention to in Part II:

“So that this finding might occur, there must be the errancy which is kindled out of the burning hearts of the errant ones and which gleams precisely in the guise of the night.”

Heidegger – Ponderings VII-XI [33-34] – 37

There are indeed high chances for the Arurian nights to be an analogy of Heidegger’s Errancy, or at least, if it wasn’t intentional, for it to embody a similar essence.

If you are familiar with producer Nujabes or Samurai Champloo, you might have recognised the reference to the artist’s famous song Aruarian Dance.
Aruarian is a made-up word; there is no official meaning to it, but after some research, according to a Reddit user, the prefix Aru would mean “to be“ or “to exist“ while the suffix Arian would mean “to have concern or belief in a specified thing“. There would be a sacred/ceremonial aspect behind the word, which would match both the lyrics and the idea of Errancy.
There is indeed a similar sense of intensity in the lyrics with the reference to “fire“. Fire is often associated with passion; it can either light up or consume.
Arurian Nights are sacred, because it’s through them that the protagonist can reach their “deeper light“, free their “burning heart“.

As a matter of fact, this burning heart is not only free now, but you can even hear it. If you listen closely to the drums, the rhythmic pattern is reminiscent of a beating heart. It’s fundamentally intimate; the protagonist is at the heart of Errancy, facing themselves at their barest.
This could be a cold and scary experience, but the Latin guitar on the chorus brings warmth and a sense of comforting intimacy. Yes, they are alone, but not really; they reconnected with their inner voice, which acts as a guide here.

walk me through

the arurian nights,

you take me through

the Arurian Nights

A lot of progress has been made, but just like in 항아리게임 (Getting Over IT), it doesn’t mean that the journey is quite over, as hinted at in Moreen’s part:

Starry night 난,

소원을 빌어 여전히 너에게 닿기를

하늘위로 날아갈 때 가벼운 네 마음이

나란 땅에 몸을 기대

Starry night,

Still making wishes to reach you
Your light heart floating upward
As I lean on this heavy earth

If we carry on the analogy to Heidegger, night symbolizes Errancy, while light stands for truth.
I’m not sure if a Starry Night would thus be a full achievement of the state of Beyng, but it would at least be close to it.
The protagonist is still wishing for their true self to bloom fully; to live in truth, but something seems to prevent it.
If you look at the last two lines, there is an interesting dichotomy with the “light heart floating“ of the “Starry night“ in opposition to the protagonist “leaning on this heavy earth“.
The last line especially reflects the human condition of the protagonist. Can we, mere humans, even become Beyngs?

Heidegger raises this very question in Pondering VII:

“Then how overly close — and yet how utterly unattainable by calculation— is the incalculable? How acute is the extreme decision of the leap into beyng and away from the calculation of beings?”

That’s part of the reason why throwing ourselves into Errancy is so complex. Not only do we not know the outcome, but we also don’t know if the hypothetical outcome is even reachable in the first place.

This uncertainty is haunting A.JACEY’s part:

Yeah I’m alive and I’m one of the next one

I’m in trance and I’m in awe

I try to take that our finest endless night

and two more grow back,

who knows if I live to tell the tale

cause I, fighting upward in a stalemate

Here, the use of the words “trance“ and “awe“ matches the ceremonial/sacred aspect of the Arurian Nights. But he clearly states that he doesn’t know “if he will live to tell the tale“.

One of the reasons is that the Arurian Night seems to be endless. This idea is even more emphasized by the fact that the night is not only unending, but others add to it.

This resonates with the fact that Arurian Nights is not only a reference to Nujabes, but also to the Middle Eastern folk tale, Arabian Nights (also known as One Thousand and One Nights).
Just like the tale, as long as the protagonist is alive, the Arurian Nights will keep on going.
And so, perhaps the answer is that there is no end to Errancy.
Reaching your true self, your dreams, is a never-ending journey; it would be concerning if it weren’t, because then again, we are not immutable beings, we keep evolving through life and interactions.

Does it mean that there is no point initiating this journey?

Well, no, even if there is no ultimate truth to the self, striving for your true self is better than refusing yourself. So maybe we can’t precisely be Beyngs, but working to reach your truth is still better than being part of the Beings.

That might be why Moreen’s part ends on the following verse:

Throw ourselves in to the fire and fall back

To fly, one must fall first. The problem lies in the fact that while attempting to fly to the light, there is no guarantee that we won’t fall into the abyss.
Thus, it takes a lot of courage to throw ourselves into the fire.

It’s more of a trivial fact, but this song, as well as the quote from the album’s introductory words mentioned earlier, especially resonates with Hermann Hesse’s book Demian. The following quote is a perfect illustration of all the tension behind the act of falling to fly:

“The impetus that makes you fly is your great human possession. Everybody has it. It is the feeling of being linked with the roots of power, but one soon becomes afraid of this feeling. It’s damned dangerous! That is why most people shed their wings and prefer to walk and obey the law.”

And so be it, after all those inner turmoils, these ponderings, finally, the protagonist flies the nest, or at least that’s what Superhero on strings, the next song, seems to confirm.

There is a truly tender, otherworldly quality to Superhero on strings. The glistening introduction is reminiscent of a dream, while the way they pitch the piano flowing through the song could almost remind you of a harp, bringing a lightness that evokes this feeling of flying.
It’s so delicate, almost fragile, as if this peaceful haven could crumble at any time. So maybe that’s why there is a beautifully melancholic edge to 녹음 (nokeum)’s singing. Perhaps it’s also to encapsulate the hope and tiredness of the protagonist.

조금 더 멀리, 함께 갈 수 있다면

다시

사로잡혔어

다시

눈이 멀어서, 알아보지 못했어

pretending to be one of many faces on the wall

절대 후회 없단 듯이

smile! 다시

매일 몸을 던져, 벗어나려 해도

다시

돌고 돌아와 man I’m losing my man I’m losing my

Oh!

마침

다시 아침

아 짐

If we could just go a bit farther, together
Again
I got caught up
Again
Blinded, couldn’t recognize you
Pretending to be just another face on the wall
As if I’ll never regret
Smile! again
Throwing myself in every day, trying to break free
Again
Coming back full circle, man I’m losing my—man I’m losing my
Oh!
Finally
It’s morning
Morn-ing

Tired because, as we saw earlier, there is probably no end to this flight, no certainty.

You can feel in this verse that they have this consuming instinct to strive for it. To keep on smiling and keep their head high.
Then perhaps, along with their inner self, they can get closer, closer to their full-bloomed self, closer to beyng.

But not only is there probably no end to this flight, it’s also not a linear journey. For every progress made, there is also a substantial amount of setbacks.
This could provide some insight into the title of the song, Superhero on strings.

In fiction, Superheroes are supposed to be the pinnacle of humanity, but ultimately, there are still humans, and all humans have weaknesses. The title Superhero on strings, is a reminder of their humanity. Even if they can fly, at any moment, a string can break.

There could be a similar yet alternative interpretation to this title. Because “Superhero“ is singular, maybe it’s a reference to the protagonist themself. I won’t start dwelling on the concept of Übermensh, I promise, but the use of Superhero could still mean that now the protagonist is on an elevated level of awareness. However, as aware as they are, they remain mere humans.

And therefore, well, there is also the risk of getting caught up, of following the wrong direction.

In Heidegger’s early works, Errancy used to hold a negative meaning. A human in errancy meant that they got swayed by other beings or things, and thus, while wishing for the truth, ended up following a misleading path.
It’s later that Errancy became a precondition to the truth.
The problem is that, in the process of seeking the truth, there is still a risk of getting lost, a phenomenon that Heidegger calls “Distortion“.

So that might be what the line “Blinded, couldn’t recognize you“ is about. As well as the second-to-last verse of the song:

Your lights are low as bright as they are

And holsters blow in time

And I couldn’t get you

Couldn’t reach you

And I,

Oh why

As bright as it is, in the depths of errancy, the light of their dream, of their true self, is not easily distinguishable. So in the moment their eyes lay on it, they couldn’t recognize it. They couldn’t reach it because they were blinded by distortion.

Therefore, as motivated as they are, Errancy remains a taxing process.

So maybe that’s why the protagonist expresses in the second verse of the song their relief that, finally, it’s morning (in addition to those lyrics, you can also hear the unmistakable sound of an alarm clock at the very end of the song). 
If Errancy is the night, those phases during which they strive to reach their higher self, their dream, then there is also some relief in leaving this intense introspection.

There is something quite cryptic about the end of the song, though.

There is first a shift in the instrumental preceding the last verse of the song. The instrumental loses its dream-like quality, morphing into an atmosphere that could be reminiscent of the passage of time. This could be a reference to the never-ending aspect of the quest for the true self. 
And then the last verse starts, and with it a new shift in the instrumental. There is again this inverted feel, just like in whitespace_, but here it almost sounds like background noise, as if the communication with the inner self was parasited.

날 믿지 말아줘

언젠가는 반드시 전부 사라지는 저

무리에 내가 있을걸? 날

무시하고 지나쳐 줘

이쯤와서 포기해줘

Don’t believe in me
Someday, when everything disappears
I’ll be among them too
Please ignore me
Please give up on me by now

That could explain the peculiarity of the lyrics. Could it be an illustration of distortion?
An illusion cast onto the dream, parasitizing the communication with the true self, and attempting to convince the protagonist to abandon their self-searching journey and return to the beings?   

Or maybe it’s more something along the way of self-doubts slowly plaguing the protagonist’s resolution. Just like in the quote from Hermann Hesse’s Demian, flying to the self is “damned dangerous“, so maybe this verse could also be interpreted as a rational defense mechanism that aims to prevent the protagonist from potentially losing themselves in this journey.
After all, dreams come and go, so is it really worth it to risk it all for them?

But self-doubts are not the only thing plaguing the mind of the protagonist. It seems that they are also fighting with another demon: nostalgia.

That is, indeed, the main topic behind the song 노른자의 + (An Egg Yolk’s +) as you can notice from the very first lyrics.

향수!

몇 방울에 다시 팔 담구고 바로 runnin, runnin’

어

쩔수!

없네 우리는 모두 서로와는 다르다

슬프던 말던 기쁘던 날도

파편으로 흩어지고 마네

Perfume/Nostalgia!
Just a few drops, and I dip my arms in again—runnin’, runnin’
Yeah
No choice!
We’re all different from each other, no helping it
Whether the days were sad or happy
They all scatter into fragments

향수 (pronounced yangsou) can either mean perfume/fragrance or nostalgia/homesickness in Korean. 녹음 (nokeum) plays with this dual meaning here, in a way to signify that once you start to feel a little bit nostalgic, it’s easy to succumb to it wholeheartedly.

So easy that the protagonist would self-talk themselves into fleeing from it. Hence why maybe the “runnin’, runnin’“ that echoes the first two lines as well as the two other lines that follow.
There is no other choice, because, as consuming as nostalgia is, we can’t go back in time.
Whether it’s good or bad memories, it’s over now; they are from the past.

This view is consolidated in the second and last hooks, which contain a slight evolution of the lyrics.

짜잔!

오 우린

향수!

에 사로잡혀버린 사람들을

모아 모아 생긴 꿈이야

(개꿈이야!)

다시

갈 수!

없는 것들만 바라보던 꿈을 꾸는 노른자일 뿐이야

꿈을 꾸는

노른자

일 뿐이야

일 뿐이야

Ta-da!
Oh, we’re
Perfume/nostalgia!
A dream made from collecting people
Trapped by nostalgia
(Just a stupid dream!)
Again,
We can’t go back!
Only dreaming of things we’ll never return to—
That’s all an egg yolk dreaming is
A dreaming
Egg yolk
That’s all it is
That’s all it is

Now, you may rightfully wonder why 녹음 (nokeum) refers to egg yolks in this verse. Why do they hold such a special place in the album in the first place?
About that, I asked 녹음 (nokeum) and this is what he told me:

“The yolk in our title is that liminal space, that suspension before the fall, or the flight.”

This resonates with the extract of the album’s introductory words previously shared:

Like an unborn yolk, glimpsing the world

and choosing whether to be born—

Just like an egg yolk, we have the choice to either move forward and throw ourselves into the world, following our true calling — an enlightened version of ourselves. Or to stay unborn, and wallow in nostalgia.
The rhythmical pattern of the song could mirror this.
Usually, in a 4/4 measure (meaning a measure with four beats), we tend to accentuate time 1 and 3. Here, the guitar alternates between accentuating time 2 & 4, and time 2 & 3. Since it’s not your typical beat pattern, it can convey this feeling of being left hanging between two temporalities.

In keeping with this idea, 녹음 (nokeum) added an interesting point on the topic of the egg yolk.

“An egg yolk is not only a culmination of nutrition for the next generation, but also a thick and rich essence of the previous one.”

As chickens are easy to breed, they will play a crucial role in addressing the looming food challenges, just as they were a staple of our ancestors’ diets.
Eggs played and will keep on playing an essential part; they are crossing the time of human history. And it’s the same for us humans; we, as individuals, are the result of human history, but also guardians of the future; we are simultaneously heirs and ancestors.

Problems arise when we forget this entanglement of interactions between past and future. In those conditions, we can easily lose our sense of agency. The protagonist seems to be at the crossroads of those tensions in 노른자의 + (An Egg Yolk’s +).

On the one hand, verses like this seem to mirror a protagonist who would blindly go with the flow:

Falling so hard for dreams in our hearts

We’re butterflies, yeah we are—pondering our own lies

And later:

Maybe we just all forgot

확실치 않아 what I wanted to!

Not even sure what I wanted to!

yeah wassup with your attitude

I just can’t recall what we were up to

probably good fun or no good

right,

When we lose ourselves, we become aimless; just fluttering around the day like a butterfly, carried by the wind of our self-denial.

And on the other hand, some verses still carry a determination to move forward:

I’ll kinda miss you, if I have to

Force myself into places I don’t want to be

Sunny side up—that’s what you want too

I’d throw myself in a blender if I have to

This verse seems to resonate with 우리의 낮은 당신의 밤보다 (O D Y N) and the idea of censoring yourself to follow a safer path.
With “I’ll kinda miss you“, 녹음 (nokeum) seems to refer to the dream. If the protagonist must abandon their dream to follow a more secure path, they will feel a sense of loss.
The use of the word “kinda“ is relatively light in comparison to the intensity of the two verses that follow.
“Sunny side up“ might be a play on words of both the egg and the light, a metaphor for the protagonist’s resolution to follow their dream, their true self.
You can also notice how more in tune they seem to be with their inner voice. Stating their convictions that they will do everything that it takes. The blender being probably once again an analogy to the egg.

Conflicted between those two dynamics, the protagonist appears to crash out; that’s why it’s so tempting to live through the gaze of nostalgia, or at least that is what the second-to-last verse seems to hint at.

Tell me it was all a dream now

I don’t even know what I’m saying anymore

Like I’m shattering and scattering after the fact

Clinging only to the faint scent that remains

Theory is nice on paper, but a self-affirming journey isn’t a walk in the park.

The protagonist learned a lot; they became aware of the influences that were affecting their vision, reconnected with their inner voice, and learned the importance of being more carefree. But there is no end to self-introspection. Just like we can’t predict the setback that might happen tomorrow.

As a consequence, being so aware can be overwhelming; thus, facing the dilemma of falling or flying, it can be tempting to do nothing, to stay in the known and let ourselves be consumed by nostalgia.

VI. The Twilight of decisionlessness?

There is a total change of vibe with 꿈꿈 (Dreamed Dream). The song begins with a bare instrumental, and in keeping with the title, it once again evokes a dream-like feel. It’s glisteny, almost nebulous.
In a way, it feels like the protagonist would be in stasis, in some sort of waiting space.

Then, from 1:03 min, you can hear 녹음 (nokeum) saying the following words:

다시, 다시, 또, 다시

Again, Again, Again, Again

It feels like a nudging, as if someone were trying to wake you up. Or, it’s as if the protagonist were somehow involved in a simulation and was now being urged to start over.

Considering the title, could it mean that the whole journey we reviewed was just a dream?

The Errancy being associated with the night, this could make sense, especially as it’s all about inner work, and the fact that dreams are produced by the subconscious. But since it seems that Errancy is a never-ending journey, then they would have to repeat the night, over and over.   

There is a seamless transition with 난 절대 못 돼? (Can I Never?), the sound you can hear at the end of 꿈꿈 (Dreamed Dream) indeed overlaps briefly with the beginning. 
The instrumental that then unfolds could remind you of a more chaotic evolution of 꿈꿈 (Dreamed Dream), which makes sense considering the hectic character of the lyrics. 

oh now I

can’t feel, I’m out of my,

ain’t gonna see!

Out of deluuuuuu

드디어 미쳐가나봐

I think I’m finally going mad

정신이 하나도 없어

I’ve completely lost my mind

또 흔들거리네, 중심 없이 위태롭게

Swaying again, dangerously unbalanced

한심하게,

So pathetic,

There were hints in 노른자의 + (An Egg Yolk’s +), but it appears that the protagonist purely lost it. In fact, it not only seems so, but they clearly state it.
We discussed in depth the risk of going into Errancy, and it seems that the uncertainty that accompanies it turned out to be too overwhelming for them.
They failed to apply the lesson showcased in 항아리게임 (Getting Over IT).

Right after this verse, you can hear a deep sound, almost like a rumbling, followed by the instrumental taking a slight dissonant turn while 녹음 (nokeum) starts to repeat the same entreaty over and over:

Who’s gonna? Who?

Who’s gonna?

Who’s gonna?

Who’s gonna?

Who’s gonna?

Who’s gonna?

Gonna—

Who’s gonna?

Who’s gonna?

Who’s gonna?

Who’s gonna?

Who’s gonna?

Who’s gonna?

Who’s gonna?

Who is gonna what? — You may ask.

Maybe we can find some clues in 도돌이표 (Repeated Mark), the next and last song.

절대 다 괜찮아질 거라고

Tell me everything’s going to be okay.

내게 말해줄래?

Can you say that to me?

yeah I’m trembling again!

RESET

If the lyrics don’t give us much more indication, the instrumental does. As 난 절대 못 돼? (Can I Never?) is overflowing on 도돌이표 (Repeated Mark) with a final muted “Who’s gonna?“, the instrumental takes on a reverential turn. You can indeed hear a blazing organ along with 녹음 (nokeum)’s words.

I asked 녹음 (nokeum) about this choice, and he explained that it was a reference to some of their music influences with 노현승 (Hyunseung Ro), such as old Pop, Funk, Jazz, and some HipHop tracks that feature the organ.
But since the organ is often associated with the religious theme, he confirmed to me that they also wanted to evoke the feeling of someone pleading to a higher being.
Therefore, the “you“ this time could very much be about the inner voice, or some deity.
When we are at a loss, it’s tempting to seek answers from a hypothetical higher being. 

The problem is that the inner truth cannot be reached by an external entity, as omniscient as it might be. Beyng might be a state that transcends us, but ultimately it’s also intricately familiar, as it’s the expression of our truth. 

This reasoning is, I believe, in keeping with some words Heidegger shared in Pondering VII-XI (GA 95):

“How should the new day arrive, if the night is withheld from it and everything is suppressed into the twilight of decisionlessness? It remains undecided whether this twilight is the one of the evening or of the morning, but this twilight all the more eagerly poses as the light pure and simple, in which each understands each and by which all are made familiar with all.”

Even if we make mistakes, it’s better to follow our own path than to rely on external forces, because doing so would be the same as falling into a state of blindness.

It’s better to move forward than to fall into the twilight of decisionlessness.

So maybe that’s why we hear an abrupt “RESET“.

The protagonist was about to fall for an illusory solution, so it’s better to reset, to go back to the start of the journey.
This could explain the rewind sound at the beginning of Sneakerhead, the very first song on the album. Just like in Diogenes in the game Getting Over It, the protagonist is bound to go over thousands of nights, in the hope of reaching the light, pure and simple.

VII. 오래된 기타 내음 (Scent of an Old Guitar)

Does it mean that the protagonist is doomed to fall into madness over and over again?
There could be a lead to an alternative, a way to alleviate this taxing journey that is the quest for your true, unapologetic self.

This answer might be found in 오래된 기타 내음 (Scent of an Old Guitar), the bonus song of the album, which you can discover in the physical album, or on this post.

오래된 기타 내음 (Scent of an Old Guitar) is a very delicate song. There is a touching warmth in 녹음 (nokeum)’s voice that is simply accompanied by two guitars.
녹음 (nokeum) shared that this song was a homage to his father, and as you can see in the following lyrics, it is written from the perspective of his father’s guitar that he is using now.
The title itself is a reference to John Denver’s This Old Guitar, which his father used to like.

오래오래, 비교적 오랜 시간을 건넜어

많고 많은 사람들의 손을 거쳐서

Travelled through a relatively long-long time
Went through many-many people’s hands

한 때 사랑했던 나를 다시 잃어버려서

작고 검은 집 속에 참 오래 홀로 있었어

Because I was lost; the one when I was loved
I was alone for a long time in a small black case

그러다 난 작고 어린 너의 손을 만났어

묵은 나무 냄새 싫어 꾸긴 코도 보았어

허나 그 중 제일 예쁜 네 눈이 날 보았어

한때 사랑했던 이의 어린 눈이 날 봤어

Then I met your hands, young and tiny
Saw your cringed-nose from the old tree odor
Your most beautiful eyes saw me
The eyes of one whom I once loved looked me in the eye

다시 나는 비교적 긴 시간을 건너러

많고 많을 사람들의 손을 거쳐서

Again, I move again, to cross another relatively long-long time
Went through many-many people’s hands

아들이 아버지가 되는 시간을 건너러

아빠가 아들에게 못 다한 이야길 건네러

To cross the time where a son becomes a father
To hand over yet-said tales and stories from dad to son

That may be the answer. Figuring out your true self, your purpose, your dream — you name it — is a never-ending process, because, as life unfolds, we are continuously becoming.
We may face ups and downs, as well as progress and setbacks. Some days it might feel like everything is crystal clear, then the next, we might fall into doubts, succumb to nostalgia.

And ultimately, if it’s all a very personal process, if no one can do this work in our stead, it doesn’t mean we have to be alone either.
If each object is the mirror of all the others, as Merleau Ponty said, then it means that we also exist in the tender gaze of our loved ones.

Of course, we will encounter Kkondae, people who will project negative emotions upon us.
But what matters the most is the people we choose to surround ourselves with, people who can provide some light to our coldest, starless nights.